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| Here's me (top) and Suzanne Lynch, with her home-grown spinach: "finally ready to harvest, although I've grown so attached to it now I might find it hard to eat!" (bottom) |
I
mentioned in my previous blog about taking annual leave during this pandemic to
rest and recharge, and also the importance of being kind to ourselves as well
as to others. As you know, ’kindness’ is the theme for this year’s mental
health awareness week, in addition to being one of our four values.
Henry James, the novelist, said: “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind”. But why is it so easy to be kind to a loved one, a friend, a neighbour, a stranger – and not ourselves?
We appreciate kindness. We welcome kindness. We value kindness. But we tend to dismiss the value and healing quality of kindness directed toward ourselves.
The little voice in our heads says, “But if I’m too kind to myself, I won’t get anything done!”. This just adds to our stress and anxiety. Surely if our compassion does not include ourselves, then it is not complete?
So, in the true spirit of ‘being kind to myself’, I’ve taken a bit of space to switch off and had a few days of annual leave this week.
I’ve therefore not done a lengthy blog this week, but I’m delighted that we have Suzanne Lynch from our staff wellbeing service for the guest blog. Suzanne has been doing some fantastic work around the power of meditation, so I thought it would be very timely to hear from her.
***********************************************************************************
Suzanne Lynch, counsellor & mindfulness teacher, staff wellbeing service
The Mindfulness Lessons of Lockdown
Lockdown has been a different experience for everyone; nearly nine weeks on, being asked to contribute to this blog has given me an opportunity to pause and reflect on the mindfulness lessons I’ve learnt from lockdown.
The week immediately before lockdown, like many colleagues, I was using up my annual leave entitlement before the end of March; I thought I’d be doing a spot of decorating and some relaxing with a capital R – instead, I was pelting up-and-down the motorway visiting elderly relatives as far-flung as Essex, making sure they had everything they needed before their 12 week shielding began.
There was nothing mindful about my state of mind at that time; I was stressed, confused about different advice coming from various health officials and hyper-vigilant about protocols, since my partner has an underlying health condition.
In the mindfulness courses we teach, we talk about the seven pillars that underpin mindfulness. Once lockdown properly began, I was forced to slow down, reconsider priorities and learn more about the pillars of mindfulness from the lessons that lockdown presented to me:
Lesson - Acceptance
Acceptance that I have no control over current circumstances and no control over when this situation will come to an end – acceptance that abiding by the guidance will keep us all safer, acceptance too that I may as well adjust to the new routine and rhythm of life for now.
Lesson 2 – Letting go
Of what I am not able to do and what is not within the remit of my role… accepting that guilt may be a consequence of that. Thank you psychologist, Jo Black, for your hugely helpful article Dealing with guilt during Covid-19: NHS staff not on the frontline.
Lesson 3 – Curiosity/Beginner’s Mind
I thought I lived in a fairly suburban area because I always turned left out of my front door for a walk. I never realised that if I turned right instead, less than 10 minutes’ walk away there is a field with cows and buttercups. Also, I now know where and in what order wild garlic, bluebells, tulips and cherry blossom grow in my neighbourhood; it’s been an education.
Lesson 4 – Non-striving
Working remotely from home: Citrix anyone? Installing Outlook? Scheduling a meeting in Microsoft Teams? Getting on to ESR? I’m technology averse at the best of times; sometimes, doing these basic IT tasks feels like threading a camel through the eye of a needle whilst my temperature rises, shoulders tense and teeth grit. Mindfulness has taught me to recognise these symptoms of stress and to take a breath, call a colleague to ask for help or leave it for now, focus on another task and try again tomorrow...
Lesson 5 – Non-judgment
…of teenagers who walk or cycle three-a-breast down a narrow lane whilst us oldies are dedicatedly trying to social distance…non-judgment is always a work in progress…
Lesson 6 – Trust
Trust that change and situations we cannot control can sometimes turn out for the best. Last weekend at the supermarket a new team member told me that due to Covid-19 he’d been made redundant a month ago. He’d been a supervisor in a completely different job for 15 years, he’d had to commute to work and was stressed out by the workplace politics. As soon as he was let go, he contacted his local supermarket and started the very next day. Now, he says, he walks five minutes to work, has more time with his family and has a laugh everyday with his workmates.
Lesson 7 – Patience
Be patient - the spinach seeds you’ve planted in the back yard as your first foray into gardening will eventually grow…
Extra Lesson – Kindness
Kindness has been all around. Each week at the Thursday Clap for Carers, as neighbours we all check in on each other especially those who live alone and have socially distanced chats. Compost has been shared over fences for vegetable planting – and I now know all my neighbours names.
Extra Lesson – Gratitude
I’m grateful to all my mindfulness teachers over the last five years at Pennine Care – Peter, Christina, David and Paddy – for giving me the tools of mindfulness practice to help ground and anchor in difficult or uncertain times. It’s not a wonder-cure and it’s not necessarily going to change anything, but it might change how I react to situations - sometimes for the better. I’m grateful for the comradeship of the team I work in at Pennine Care. I’m deeply grateful and in awe of our frontline staff in every area and department. Please take good care, wishing you all well.
***********************************************************************************Best wishes,
Claire
You can follow me on Twitter @ClaireMolloy2
Henry James, the novelist, said: “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind”. But why is it so easy to be kind to a loved one, a friend, a neighbour, a stranger – and not ourselves?
We appreciate kindness. We welcome kindness. We value kindness. But we tend to dismiss the value and healing quality of kindness directed toward ourselves.
The little voice in our heads says, “But if I’m too kind to myself, I won’t get anything done!”. This just adds to our stress and anxiety. Surely if our compassion does not include ourselves, then it is not complete?
So, in the true spirit of ‘being kind to myself’, I’ve taken a bit of space to switch off and had a few days of annual leave this week.
I’ve therefore not done a lengthy blog this week, but I’m delighted that we have Suzanne Lynch from our staff wellbeing service for the guest blog. Suzanne has been doing some fantastic work around the power of meditation, so I thought it would be very timely to hear from her.
***********************************************************************************
Suzanne Lynch, counsellor & mindfulness teacher, staff wellbeing service
The Mindfulness Lessons of Lockdown
Lockdown has been a different experience for everyone; nearly nine weeks on, being asked to contribute to this blog has given me an opportunity to pause and reflect on the mindfulness lessons I’ve learnt from lockdown.
The week immediately before lockdown, like many colleagues, I was using up my annual leave entitlement before the end of March; I thought I’d be doing a spot of decorating and some relaxing with a capital R – instead, I was pelting up-and-down the motorway visiting elderly relatives as far-flung as Essex, making sure they had everything they needed before their 12 week shielding began.
There was nothing mindful about my state of mind at that time; I was stressed, confused about different advice coming from various health officials and hyper-vigilant about protocols, since my partner has an underlying health condition.
In the mindfulness courses we teach, we talk about the seven pillars that underpin mindfulness. Once lockdown properly began, I was forced to slow down, reconsider priorities and learn more about the pillars of mindfulness from the lessons that lockdown presented to me:
Lesson - Acceptance
Acceptance that I have no control over current circumstances and no control over when this situation will come to an end – acceptance that abiding by the guidance will keep us all safer, acceptance too that I may as well adjust to the new routine and rhythm of life for now.
Lesson 2 – Letting go
Of what I am not able to do and what is not within the remit of my role… accepting that guilt may be a consequence of that. Thank you psychologist, Jo Black, for your hugely helpful article Dealing with guilt during Covid-19: NHS staff not on the frontline.
Lesson 3 – Curiosity/Beginner’s Mind
I thought I lived in a fairly suburban area because I always turned left out of my front door for a walk. I never realised that if I turned right instead, less than 10 minutes’ walk away there is a field with cows and buttercups. Also, I now know where and in what order wild garlic, bluebells, tulips and cherry blossom grow in my neighbourhood; it’s been an education.
Lesson 4 – Non-striving
Working remotely from home: Citrix anyone? Installing Outlook? Scheduling a meeting in Microsoft Teams? Getting on to ESR? I’m technology averse at the best of times; sometimes, doing these basic IT tasks feels like threading a camel through the eye of a needle whilst my temperature rises, shoulders tense and teeth grit. Mindfulness has taught me to recognise these symptoms of stress and to take a breath, call a colleague to ask for help or leave it for now, focus on another task and try again tomorrow...
Lesson 5 – Non-judgment
…of teenagers who walk or cycle three-a-breast down a narrow lane whilst us oldies are dedicatedly trying to social distance…non-judgment is always a work in progress…
Lesson 6 – Trust
Trust that change and situations we cannot control can sometimes turn out for the best. Last weekend at the supermarket a new team member told me that due to Covid-19 he’d been made redundant a month ago. He’d been a supervisor in a completely different job for 15 years, he’d had to commute to work and was stressed out by the workplace politics. As soon as he was let go, he contacted his local supermarket and started the very next day. Now, he says, he walks five minutes to work, has more time with his family and has a laugh everyday with his workmates.
Lesson 7 – Patience
Be patient - the spinach seeds you’ve planted in the back yard as your first foray into gardening will eventually grow…
Extra Lesson – Kindness
Kindness has been all around. Each week at the Thursday Clap for Carers, as neighbours we all check in on each other especially those who live alone and have socially distanced chats. Compost has been shared over fences for vegetable planting – and I now know all my neighbours names.
Extra Lesson – Gratitude
I’m grateful to all my mindfulness teachers over the last five years at Pennine Care – Peter, Christina, David and Paddy – for giving me the tools of mindfulness practice to help ground and anchor in difficult or uncertain times. It’s not a wonder-cure and it’s not necessarily going to change anything, but it might change how I react to situations - sometimes for the better. I’m grateful for the comradeship of the team I work in at Pennine Care. I’m deeply grateful and in awe of our frontline staff in every area and department. Please take good care, wishing you all well.
***********************************************************************************Best wishes,
Claire
You can follow me on Twitter @ClaireMolloy2
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