Thank you, it’s been emotional

The last few weeks have been very emotional.

When you have a six-month notice, you spend a lot of it just getting on with the job and not really thinking about the end. And then as the date has got nearer and nearer, the reality has hit me, that I am not just leaving Pennine Care, but also leaving the NHS and something that has been such a massive part of my life for the last 30 years.

When I dropped out of doing a pharmacology degree when pregnant with my daughter at 19, I didn’t think my path would lead me here. I am not sure where I thought it would lead me and I have done some interesting jobs finding out along the way, bar work, waitressing, quality control and sales to mention a few.

But I am so massively grateful it did bring me here and for the challenge, personal learning and friendships of the last 30 years.

I’ve been so lucky to land in a place that shares my values; and I must have done something right in a former life to have had the joy of being part of services that I am passionate about, and where for the most part, I have woken up excited about the day and looking forward to going to work. I consider myself privileged to have spent the majority of my working life in the public sector and to have made even a small contribution to society, but also that work hasn’t felt like work, but much more enjoyable and rewarding.

And I am especially glad that I got to finish my career in Pennine Care and with such lovely people. There really couldn’t have been a warmer, friendlier and more compassionate organisation to end my working life with. Whilst the last four and a half years have had their ups and downs, they have undoubtedly been amongst the most enjoyable and rewarding in my NHS career.

You know that I love climbing and mountaineering and so I was thinking about what over the last four years has been the equivalent of being on top of the mountain in the sunshine; and what has been the equivalent of being hemmed in by a storm and forced to pee into a bottle because you can’t get out of your tent!

There has been a fair amount of stormy weather that has occasionally grounded us. The battle for adequate funding with our commissioners, the multiple discussions about system working and the development of the integrated care system have made me feel like my head is exploding, and of course, over the last two years, dealing with the pandemic and the sadness of losing people and the stress of working in such a challenging way and supporting colleagues working under such exceptional pressure.

But there have also been lots of positive moments of achievement; the work on our strategy and establishing us as a mental health, learning disability and autism organisation, of our work on equality, diversity and inclusion and cultural change; the development of our new triumvirate structure and the progress being made in lots of areas of service improvement and development.

So, lots to be proud of, but I know that our successes wouldn’t have been possible without the commitment and dedication of all of our Pennine People.

I’ve been very lucky to work with many talented senior leaders and managers, dedicated clinicians and professionals, hard-working corporate colleagues, a great Board and Council of Governors who put in a lot of their time for little reward, and a brilliant exec team who have made my job easy, just be being lovely, fun, but capable people.

In particular, I wanted to thank three special women, Clare Parker, Evelyn and Karen Hamer.

When I left Cumbria to come here, I invited people to join me in Pennine Care and what I called the Manchester branch of the Cumbria Survivors Club (it was a very rewarding, but immensely challenging time in Cumbria!). Clare responded to this and so we have worked together for over eight years. And I know she knows this, and I know you know this, but she is a fantastic director and has been an amazing deputy to me. She has kept me going in so many ways and I am so grateful she has been such a big part of my story.

And Evelyn, I couldn’t have asked for a kinder, more caring and supportive Chair to spend my time with, within my last NHS role. We have been on the journey together in Pennine and she has been a wonderful companion to travel with. She has kept me on the right path, and brought insight, wisdom and gentle challenge to guide and steer me.

Karen Hamer is the best PA I have ever worked with. She has kept me organised and I simply wouldn’t have been able to do the job without her. She’s always right there behind me, picking up the pieces, sorting things and enabling me to do what I need to do.

So, thank you all for the last four and half years, it has been a complete privilege to be your chief executive. I will miss you, and I am trying not to think about the massive space in my heart that leaving the organisation and the NHS will leave.

 

But I am ready for a change. My body is ready for a change! I have had so many colds, infections and injuries over the last year or so, I need to create the time to make the most of my health before my body packs up completely.

So, I don’t have a plan other than to spend more time doing the things I love; and enjoy not working and having the responsibility of being chief executive. As someone once said to me, there is no such thing as an aspiring chief executive just one that is either perspiring or expiring!

So, I wish you all the very best for the future. This organisation is full of caring, feisty, determined and talented people and I know under your collective leadership that Pennine will continue to go from strength to strength.

Thank you for making my time here such a positive one.