A powerful guest blog

We’ve got a powerful guest blog this week from Clare Parker, our director of nursing, healthcare professionals and quality governance.

Talking about our own personal experience can help reduce stigma and make it OK to talk about mental health issues, so many thanks to Clare for being so open and sharing her story.

Best wishes,
Claire

Claire Molloy, chief executive

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Do we really know the people we work alongside each day? 

Here's me with my grandad

Often we can spend many hours working closely with people, but never really take the time to get to know them or take an interest in what is going on for them, perhaps over a cup of coffee. 

How do we know when people are going through celebrations or challenges in their family and personal life?  And how do we offer support, kindness and compassion at work?

One thing that people might not know about me is that nearly two years ago, my 96 year old grandad took his own life. He had been widowed 18 months previously following the death of my 94 year old nanna, who died of motor neurone disease. 

On the anniversary of his death last March, I posted on twitter to raise awareness of older people’s suicide and, just before Christmas, I made a decision to take part in a Schwartz round, as the theme for the day was ‘suicide awareness’. 

To sit in front of my colleagues and share my story was not an easy decision for me. It is an emotional and personal story, but one which I feel passionately about sharing to keep raising awareness of this challenging topic. 

I don’t mind admitting that I did become tearful as I shared  how I had always looked up to my grandparents, how they had given me so many fantastic memories and how one of the lessons they gave me was to “make the most of life and the experiences it can bring”. 

They were strong advocates of making memories, rather than collecting things, and they themselves travelled the world and certainly enjoyed and lived a full and rewarding life together. 

The impact of my grandad’s suicide has been very different for each and every member of my family, but for me it has been important to reflect on, recognise and celebrate the lives of my grandparents.

In my day to day role in our Trust, suicide is something I have to read about, talk about and think about on a weekly basis.  It is so important to think about the families, our staff and wider teams and communities who are affected by each and every suicide. And to remember it is something we should talk about and consider how it impacts our colleagues, so we can offer support and compassion, and even a shoulder to cry on, at times. 

Alongside me on the panel were two amazing and inspiring colleagues, who also shared their personal and emotional stories. It reminded me that it is the people around us - our family and friends, but also our work family - who contribute to how we behave, think and feel. 

Experiences we have both in and out of work contribute to our own health and wellbeing and the people we work alongside contribute to that enormously. 

A reminder that we all need to make sure we look after ourselves, as well as other people around us.  So try to make time to have that cup of coffee with a colleague.

Best wishes,
Clare Parker

If you have been affected by this blog and need some support, please contact:

Pennine Care staff: Our staff wellbeing service, here

Public:  Mind, here, or you can contact Samaritans on 116 123