Acknowledgement, appreciation and awareness

Claire (top) and 
Matt Walsh (bottom)

I talked about the importance of saying ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’ in my last blog, but just want to say a bit more about recognition and gratitude as our Great Big Thank You week kicks off next Monday.

I know there have been many ‘thank yous’ since lockdown, however the week allows us to shout it out loud to each and every one of you and shine a spotlight on your tremendous work over the last six months. This is about acknowledgment and appreciation. And it’s for each and every one of you, as we felt that this is not the year to have teams compete and be singled out in the usual ‘staff awards’ style.

It’s a thank you for those working on the front-line, at home, in offices and behind the scenes. Every single one of you has played an integral part in helping people, and you should be mighty proud.

It makes me think of the fable of the two bricklayers. A man walked by two bricklayers. He asked the first man what he was doing, and he answered “I’m laying bricks.” The man took a few more steps and asked the same question to the second bricklayer, who replied, and without hesitation, “I’m building a cathedral.”

You all matter and your work matters. It makes a difference to the people we care for and support, and this thank-you is sincere, personal and heartfelt.

BBC Radio 4 has a weekly ‘thank you’ slot where listeners send in a story, in which they thank a stranger for helping them. Sometimes, the act of kindness that the listener wants to say thanks for happened as many as forty years earlier. Despite the fact that it’s unlikely the person they’re thanking will happen to be listening when their thank you is broadcast, they still feel compelled to do it. They’re saying thank you because they feel it’s important, regardless of the outcome.

You are of course not strangers, but our board feels compelled to do this. A healthy organisation can’t develop without authentic appreciation. It’s a core component and driving force for a vibrant workplace to grow and prosper.

Many of you know the reason I reduced my working hours last year was to support my daughter who is suffering with post-natal depression. It’s been an incredibly tough year for her and the family, with lockdown causing even more anxiety and stress.

We’ve done all we can to help, but as any of you who are supporting someone with mental ill health will know, it never feels enough. You just want to be able to wave a magic wand and make the person better.

So when we got a WhatsApp message from our daughter recently thanking us for all the little things we do, like stocking up her fridge when we notice it’s getting empty, taking their washing and ironing home to do, as well as looking after the little one, it felt really special. We don't do it for the thank yous, but it was so lovely to know that these small acts of love and care are making a difference.

As well as The Great Big Thank You next week, we also have the World Suicide Prevention Day next Thursday. Every year, organisations and communities around the world come together on this day to raise awareness of how we can create a world where fewer people die by suicide. There’s already too much suffering in the world. So, Matt Walsh, our patient safety lead, has kindly done a powerful guest blog about the suicide of his close friend Dave and suicide awareness.

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Matt Walsh, Patient Safety Lead:

Suicide can affect us all as family members, as friends and colleagues, and as members of our workforce.

Over 800,000 people die by suicide annually, representing one person every 40 seconds. Suicide is the leading cause of death in people aged 15-24 in many European countries and self-harm largely occurs among older adolescents, and globally is the 2nd leading cause of death for older adolescent girls. At least 135 people are affected by each suicide death which equates to 108 million people bereaved by suicide every year.

As the patient safety lead and, in the course of my role, I have worked with many families and staff affected by the deaths of relatives and patients by suicide on a regular basis. One of the ways in which I relax is to spend time with family, but also my mates who I’ve had a close bond with for over 20 years. We would regularly do the usual stuff like watching sports and going for a beer or two.

In 2017 one of the lads didn’t turn up on a Friday for a pint, so we rang him but no reply.

As an aircraft-fitter he sometimes worked away from home and we thought he may have been on a job. Over the weekend, his ex-partner contacted one of us to say that he’d not turned up to meet his son and was he with us?

Naturally, we went to his house to see if he was in, knocked etc. and rang his phone but to no avail. Dave was the recipient of two organ donations and previously had trouble with poorly controlled diabetes and so this may have been a factor. We therefore got a ladder to his bedroom window and sadly could see him deceased in bed.

Dave (waving in the photo) had two children and one grandchild and he always seemed happy and gregarious in life. In the note he left behind, he spoke about his deep-rooted feelings of depression and low self-esteem and how he hid these feelings from everyone. Unknown to us, he’d lost his job as a fitter and his car had broken down; these cumulative stressors were possibly too much for Dave. 

After his death, as a group of mates we were left angry, confused, upset and incredibly sad that he didn’t have the ability or opportunity to reach out and speak to one of us and that we didn’t ask about his mental health either.

At his funeral, we undertook to continue to raise awareness of the importance of men speaking about mental health and a commitment to talk to each other about life’s problems, when they are seemingly unsurmountable.

This year for World Suicide Prevention Day, one of the themes is to reach out and connect with each other – this is even more important during a global health pandemic, where the disadvantaged and those living with poverty or oppression may be experiencing multiple layers of stress and worry.

Please take time with family, friends and colleagues to reach out and share the laughter and joy that life brings, but also when we’re low in mood and not so joyful, taking a moment to share those feelings is the right thing to do.

There are a number of initiatives happening across Greater Manchester including Andy’s Man Club and the Lions Barber Initiatives which are opportunities for men to talk.

Another way in which we are promoting awareness of suicide is through the International Suicide Prevention Alliance’s annual ‘cycling around the globe’ challenge; whereby collectively we add all of our cycled, walked or other form of exercise between 10 September and 10 October. Please look out for extra communications about this.

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Best wishes

Claire

You can follow me on Twitter @ClaireMolloy2